White People

It is true that since the beginning my people and white people have never been able to see eye to eye. I feared the white person since I was a young child, because of the views that my grandparents had. My great grandmother Bear That Stays by the Side of the River use to tell me "If you aren't a good boy, I'll give you to the white people." And that sure set me straight, I wouldn't even have a hair on my head out of place. I don't know what it was about white people that had me so afriad, probably because I had never really known one, and because all those that I looked up to were afraid of them.

As I went through most of my early childhood I continued to stay afraid of white people, they could never understand us and often called us names. But one day I had to go into the hospital to fix a breathing problem and I was scared. I had never really experienced a white person before and go figure! My roommate was an old white man. I eventually settled down and figured out that he was ok, even though he was white. I think the biggest reason why I trusted him was because he had worked along side my grandfather Medicine Crow. I had always thought that my grandparents hated and feared the white people, but I was wrong. But even more interestingly enough this man next to me was a white Crow! Needless to say, my opinions of the white people changed that day, but once I got to public school, those ideas were once again thrown out the window.

I was forced to go to public school, and away from my safe baptist school. This obviously made school go from bad to worse. We were told we didn't know english well enough and needed to go some place we would be taught it. But I have to admit that I wasn't sure if I wanted to know it! Unfortuntly, the white parents wanted us there about as much as we wanted to be there. They said things like: "These Indians are dirty and covered with lice. They are so dumb the teachers will have to spend more time with them and neglect our kids." We aren't dumb! We don't have lice! and we don't want to be there anyways! I wish that the children were more open to our presence, but they weren't. So we, all the Indian children, decided to resist as much as possible.

I don't want to be associated with the white person, I love who I am and I don't want to change. I love being a Crow and I am proud of my past. It seems stupid to change and become white. I use to make fun of other Indians who would try and act white. What were they doing? It was as if they were trying to get ride of thier rich Indian history!

I wish, as I sit here and look back, I could say that my encounters with the white students as I got older became more tame, but that just isn't the case. The Indians and the white students would often fight during recess, and if we were caught in town after dark we wouldn't make it home. I'm just thankful that I became secure enough in my own identity to not let that hinder me my whole life. I was able to enter the US army without the same fear I had of white people as a child, and defend numerous white people. That is only part of what made me a warrior.